Winter Hopes (Seasons of Love) Read online

  Sam nodded, his eyes on the table for a minute before he looked up. “Okay. Thanks.”

  “Hey. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better,” Ryan said. “You know I wouldn't do that. And this is the perfect opportunity for me to tell you if I thought otherwise. I don't. But I've gotta admit, I'm a little surprised to hear you say any of that at all. To hear Alec tell it, you knew from the get go that she was newly divorced, with a kid, and you just didn't give a crap.”

  Sam chuckled wryly. “He's right about that much, at least. I didn't. I just saw her.”

  “Well, that's fine. Because that's all there is. Well, her, and her son.”

  Sam nodded again as he rubbed his jaw, deep in thought. He fidgeted with his empty glass, felt the soft beginnings of an alcohol buzz shooting through him. His voice dropped as he admitted in a low tone, “You know something? The fact that she has a child already actually makes things easier for me, because she's not worried her clock is ticking and is getting desperate to have a kid. That pressure is off. So a relationship between us can just be about what we have to offer each other. And I really…” He shook his head and laughed derisively at himself. “Wow. I gotta lay off the scotch.”

  “No,” Ryan assured him. “Sounds like you needed to talk. Glad I'm here.”

  Sam gave him a wry grin. “Yeah. I guess I did. More than I realized. Thanks.”

  “It sounds like you got more in the last twenty-four hours than you expected,” Ryan offered carefully. “Lots to take in. You guys clicked hard and it’s moving along quickly. So you're absorbing it all. That’s good. You're being smart.”

  “Am I?” Sam fidgeted again with his empty glass, turned it in restless circles on the tabletop. “You know what, I truly want this. All of it. I want to be committed to her, and her to me, and to take this to wherever it leads us. I'm not afraid, and I don't want to hold back. But I've only known her for two months. So is that crazy? Am I jumping in? Or do you know it's right when it's right?”

  “Dude, I hate to break it to you, but you jumped in the day you met her.” Ryan grinned. “I remember the out-of-towners dinner, the night before the wedding. You'd just met that morning, right? You couldn't take your eyes off each other. There was like, palpable chemistry shooting across the room. I even noticed it enough to ask Mel what was going on, and I don't usually notice that stuff.” He smirked. “Hey, I fell in love with Melanie the day I met her. She wasn't having it. She'd been through hell, she didn't want to ever get serious with a guy again… and I pursued her like crazy.” A shadow fell across his eyes as he asked in a low murmur, “You know about her past, right? Her first marriage?”

  “A little bit,” Sam said somberly. “I know it was bad. I know he hit her.”

  “He did more than that,” Ryan ground out. “But we won't get into that now. All I'm saying is, people go through life looking for that special someone, praying they find someone decent, much less a click like that—that instant knowing that's so raw and real that it actually makes you doubt it, because you think it can't happen like it does in the movies.” Ryan shrugged. “I literally fell in love with Mel the minute I saw her. Here we are, married. It does happen. You feel that way about Lydia? Okay then. That doesn't make you crazy. That makes you lucky. I say go with it.”

  Sam nodded almost imperceptibly, taking in everything Ryan had said. Ryan clapped Sam on the shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

  “Hey you guys,” came Melanie's cheerful voice as they approached the table. She and Lydia retook their seats. "Did you miss us terribly?"

  “Absolutely,” Sam murmured, his eyes focusing on Lydia's face as she smiled at him.

  ***

  The night air was getting colder, the temperature was beginning to dip into the thirties, but Sam and Lydia didn't care. They stood at the side of the Rockefeller Center ice rink, oblivious to the cold, lost in the crowd, directly across from the majestic, tremendous Christmas tree. They nestled cozily together as they enjoyed the scene around them. She stood with her back pressed against his chest, and his arms held tightly around her waist. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

  “Can I thank you again for setting up that dinner?” she said over her shoulder. “Getting to spend some time with Melanie and Ryan was so great. The food was incredible. I'm good and buzzed off of superior Merlot. Now we're here… what a wonderful night. Thank you, Sam.”

  “You've already thanked me about six times,” he chuckled. "But I'm glad you're enjoying it all so much. That makes me happy.” He kissed her ear and said into it, “It means I've done my job right, I'm a good boyfriend.”

  “The best.” She turned in his arms to smile at him. “I'm very lucky. Thank you again.” She raised up onto her tiptoes to kiss him. “I wish you didn't have to go home tomorrow.”

  He grinned ruefully. “Me too. So let's talk about when we'll see each other next.”

  “Okay.”

  “Um… well, I was thinking…” He glanced up at the massive Christmas tree, and the lights seemed to sparkle playfully at him. He looked back down at Lydia and asked, “Are you doing anything for Christmas?”

  She blinked in surprise, slightly confused by his question. “You mean that week? I have off from work, it's the holiday vacation. School's closed from the twenty-third to January second.”

  “Okay, good to know, but I meant Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, specifically.”

  “Nothing, actually,” she shrugged. “Now that Matt and I have split up, he's decided to embrace his Christianity again. He asked if he could have Andy for Christmas, and I said sure. Why not? So Andy will be with Matt from the twenty-fourth to the twenty-sixth. I'll be sleeping late, reading, and eating Chinese food. Those are my big plans.”

  Sam's gaze intensified on her face as he asked carefully, “Would you consider coming out to Chicago for those three days? Spending Christmas with me?”

  Lydia’s breath caught in her throat. The look in Sam's eyes was even more earnest than the tone of his voice. This was important to him, and it meant more than just her going out to see him. She hadn't been to Chicago yet, hadn't been in his surroundings, on his territory. Much less spending Christmas together… a major holiday meant a major commitment. He was trying to show her what she meant to him.

  She could see how much he wanted her to say yes. His warm brown eyes searched hers, hopeful and anticipating. She smiled demurely at him and said, “That sounds lovely. I can work that out. It should be easy, actually.”

  “Seriously?” he asked, his eyes lighting up with unrestrained happiness.

  “Yes,” she said. “I don't have work, and Andy will be with his father. I just told you, I was going to be home alone anyway. I was maybe going over to Tracey's to watch movies with them on Christmas Day. But I'd love to come spend Christmas with you. Thanks for asking, and for wanting me to. That's really sweet.”

  He smiled radiantly. “Why wouldn't I want to spend Christmas with my new girlfriend? Who else would I want to be with?” He leaned down to kiss her with as much affection as he could express.

  ***

  Later that night, naked in bed and nestled in Sam’s arms on the edge of sleep, Lydia thought back on the day. She’d introduced him to her family and her son sooner than she’d initially planned. But it felt right. Being with him felt right. She didn’t think she was acting impulsively, or rashly, and hoped she wasn’t. Jane would have told her if she was, like a traffic cop. She must be okay, then. Bringing Sam deeper into her world had to be okay. It felt okay. Natural and right and too good to be true.

  It just wasn’t in her nature to trust that. Anything that seemed too good to be true, usually was.

  “Are you sleeping?” Sam whispered into her hair.

  “Almost.” She tipped her chin up to look at him. “I thought you already were.”

  “Almost.” He grinned and kissed her forehead. “I just wanted to tell you… this weekend has been wonderful. You are wonderful. You… you make me happy, Lydia. You really
do.”

  Warmth suffused her bones and she couldn’t help but smile. “This weekend has been wonderful. And you make me happy too. I’m so glad you came out to see me.” She lightly kissed his lips. “And I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow.”

  “Me too. But it’s only two weeks to Christmas. It’ll go by fast.” He brushed a few tender kisses against her mouth and she savored the sweetness of them. “Falling asleep now. Good night, sweetheart.”

  “Good night,” she whispered.

  Within two minutes, she heard his breathing turn slow and deep. As tired as she was, as relaxed and sated as her body was, her mind wouldn’t relax. It spun with all the images of the weekend, the feelings that were overriding her, the heady thrill and simultaneous anxiety of opening her heart and her life to a new man. Opening herself to someone had never been easy for her to begin with, much less on this level. She tried to recall if she’d ever felt like this with Matt, even in the beginning… she hadn’t. She really didn’t think she had ever felt like this.

  Sam was an amazing man. So she had to try and trust him, and better trust her own instincts. To learn how to let go, be in the moment, stop worrying all the time…

  She snuggled into him even closer and dropped a kiss on his shoulder. With a small sigh, Lydia prayed that for once, she was getting it right. It really felt right. She hadn’t wanted to be right about something so much in a very long time. Knowing only time would tell, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her.

  THE END

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  BOOK 3 OF THE SEASONS OF LOVE SERIES…

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  SPRING SHADOWS

  SEASONS OF LOVE Series, Book Three

  CHAPTER ONE

  LYDIA POWELL GLANCED at the clock and swore under her breath. She was almost done packing, but her ex-husband would arrive at any minute. All week, looking forward to her trip to Chicago had kept her on a high. Spending Christmas with Sam had her giddy with anticipation. The thought of it was… well, romantic. And God knew she hadn’t had romance in her life, ever, before she’d met Sam Forrester. As much as she tried to move with caution when it came to him, she could admit to herself in the safe zone of her own head that she was crazy about him. He was a warm, sweet, sexy man who treated her well, and she was happy. The relationship was new, and they were still in the early stages… but she kept reminding herself that things were good so far, and to enjoy it all. That she deserved to be happy.

  With Christmas music playing on the tiny radio on her nightstand, she’d thrown herself into packing and getting ready, wanting to be finished before Matt arrived to pick up their son.

  Sure enough, the buzzer sounded a little sooner than she’d hoped. With a groan, she swept down the hall, hurrying to press the intercom button to allow Matt to enter from the lobby. “Sweetheart, Daddy's here,” she said to her son as she walked through the living room. She crouched down beside where Andy sat on his big blue bean bag. Her three-and-a-half-year-old son was completely mesmerized by Elmo, his big blue eyes glued to the television. Lydia gave a short laugh and tousled his straight bronze hair. “Hey, TV coma boy,” she cajoled, leaning over to tickle him. “Time to go.”

  Andy giggled and tried to push her hands away.

  “Come on, mister,” she said. “Elmo has to take a nap. Daddy's here for you.” She stood, took the two steps to the television set, and turned it off.

  “Noooo!” Andy cried in protest. For a preschooler with a severe speech delay, he had the most important word of all down pat.

  “Daddy's here,” Lydia repeated.

  “Dada?” Andy jumped up and ran to the door.

  Lydia shook her head and laughed as she followed her little boy. “Hold on, hold on.” She got to the door and unlocked the deadbolt. Just as she opened it, Matt stepped up to the doorway.

  “Good timing,” she noted.

  “Dada!!” Andy squealed, and threw himself at his father.

  Matt crouched down just in time to catch the boy in his arms. He hugged Andy tightly and kissed the top of his head. “Hey buddy! Good to see you! Ohh, I missed you.” He kissed Andy's cheek and smiled at him. The only time Lydia ever saw him smile anymore was when he saw their son. “You ready to come to my house for a few days? We're going to have Christmas together. We're gonna have fun!”

  “Yah, yah!” Andy screeched joyfully.

  “Come on in,” Lydia said, moving aside.

  Matt straightened up, with Andy still in his arms, and carried him into the living room.

  “His things are all packed up,” Lydia said, “and his suitcase is next to his bed.”

  Matt gently lowered the boy to the floor. As soon as his feet hit the ground, Andy grabbed his father's hand and tugged. “Uhh! Uhhhhh!”

  Matt let Andy pull him down the hall towards his room.

  Lydia grabbed Andy's bean bag chair and tossed it into the far corner, then glanced over at the clock on the cable box. Jane would be there in less than an hour to pick her up and take her to the airport. She quickly walked down the short hallway to her room. Lifting the lid of her suitcase, she checked again to make sure she'd packed all the clothes and toiletries she wanted to bring to Chicago. Then she picked up the wrapped Christmas gifts that were on the bed and placed them carefully into the suitcase, cushioning them between layers of her clothes.

  “Mama?” Andy's voice called out. “Mama?”

  “I'm in my room, sweetheart,” she called back, not looking up as she double checked the safety of the gifts she'd packed. Once she was convinced they were secure, she closed the lid of the suitcase and zippered it up.

  “Going somewhere?”

  Her head snapped up at the sound of Matt's voice. She turned to see him standing in her bedroom doorway, eyeing the suitcase, then her.

  “What do you want?” she said, feeling caught.

  “Andy wants his orange sippy cup, and I don't know where it is,” Matt said. His pale blue eyes were intent on her face, unrelenting. “You goin' somewhere?” he repeated.

  “Yes, I am,” she said, instantly angry with herself as she felt her cheeks flush against her will. “I was going to tell you before you left.”

  “I'm almost ready to go. You can tell me now.” He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes never leaving her face. He could sense her sudden discomfort and was taking full advantage of it.

  Striving for an indifferent tone of voice, she said, “I'm going away for a few days. I'm going to Chicago. I'll have my cell phone with me; you can reach me without a problem if you need to. I'll have it on all the time.”

  “Chicago?” Matt said, surprised. “I didn't know you knew anyone there.”

  She merely shrugged.

  “When are you leaving?” he asked.

  “Jane's picking me up at ten-thirty. My flight leaves at one.”

  “You're flying out today. On Christmas Eve.” Matt considered this, brows furrowed. “When are you coming back?”

  “I'll be back the night of the twenty-sixth. I should be home by seven. You said you were bringing Andy home at eight that night. I'll be back here by then.”

  “You timed this all very well. Very carefully,” he said. She could tell his mind was working, trying to fit the pieces together. That he sensed something. “Were you going to tell me you were going away?”

  “Of course I was,” she said a bit too defensively. “I just told you I was.”

  “Then why do you look so… guilty?” Matt said, his lips curving in a slight smirk. “Like I caught you with your hand in the cookie jar?”

  “I just don't like you being anywhere near my bedroom,” she said in a low tone.

  They stared each other down. Suddenly, Matt's face changed. His expression morphed into a mixture of shock and recognition. He stood a little straighter, his eyes severe, his cold gaze pinned on his ex-wife's face. “You're seeing someone, aren't you.” He said it rather than asked it; the words came o
ut slowly as realization dawned on him.

  Lydia pressed her lips together hard, crushing them for a second as she felt her blood go cold and her hands turn to ice. She flexed her fingers uselessly. Realizing she'd stopped breathing, she exhaled in a whoosh. “Yes. Yeah, actually, I am.”

  Matt seemed frozen in place. “So… you're going to Chicago to spend Christmas with some guy you’re seeing?”

  “Yes.”

  “No.” Matt's voice sharpened. “No. You don't fly halfway across the country to spend a major holiday with ‘some guy’.” His eyes narrowed and a hint of color flushed his cheeks. “You fly halfway across the country to spend Christmas with someone you care about. Like, you’re seriously involved already.”

  Lydia just stared back at him. Damn. Damn damn damn. “This… is not how I was planning to tell you about him.”

  Matt laughed, but it was a dry, hollow sound. “Oh man… wow. That's… ha! You—you're—” He raked his hands through his hair. “How long has this been going on?”

  “I don't see why that's—”

  “HOW LONG?!” Matt yelled, his control shattering.

  His shout snapped Lydia into her usual stance of defense. “Don't you yell at me,” she snarled.

  “How long?” Matt growled, taking down the volume but not the venom.

  “I met him in the middle of October,” Lydia said. “At Melanie's wedding.”

  Matt looked as if she'd slapped him. He actually took a step back, and his eyes widened. “October?” he repeated. He gave the hollow laugh of disbelief again. “You've been seeing someone since October? You've been seeing someone for two months, and you're telling me now? And only because I caught you packing a suitcase?” Shaking his head in incredulous disgust, his eyes sparked fire as he spat in a low tone, “You lying bitch.”